family blog.

I have decided to add another blog. It's here. I'm not going to close this one, as this is more of a journal for my private thoughts. I really wanted to make a family friendly one as well. I won't be making Rubyjade private, but I also will not be giving out the blog addy. Those who know I am here, can still find me here. Thank you for all the warm wishes about grandpa's surgery. He is doing well and I'm sorry for the lack of an update. Things have been pretty busy around here.

Today...

CABG rears its ugly head again. This time, grandpa is the victim. He was just here visiting last week with grandma. We watched the inaguration together, and I made a mental note of how cool it was to share that historic experience with them. He made sure we were all quiet as the Marine Corps band marched and played in the parade. I know this sounds morbid, but right now he's having his chest cracked open for a triple bypass and I can't stop thinking about it. All I can do is hope and pray.

just for fun

I thought this was such a cute picture of them laughing together - until I looked closer and realized that that laugh of his was really an evil mocking one, because he's squashing her hand under his boot. Such a nice boy...

This is the one I used for the 5x7.

I wanted to share these. Some of you who have facebook accounts have seen these, but for my blog stalkers I'll put them up here too!

I wanted to do something inexpensive but still meaningful for the grandparents for Christmas. About a week before Christmas I came up with the idea to take shots of the kids at our park and print and frame them. I absolutely LOVE the way they came out. In some of the shots I really should have used a flash, but I'll know for next time. Let it be known that most of these poses required bribery.

Pinewood Derby

This is serious business. Forget that it's just a bunch of kids racing tiny little wooden cars on an aluminum track. Oh NO. It's much more than that. These people mean business. And, by "these people", I mean the parents. There are 6 lanes on the track, and each car races once per lane. So, essentially, every car races 6 times and they average those times to make one final time per car. (and since there were 150 cars there, it took FOR-EV-ER) *sigh* I hope this is making sense. Once the car reaches the finish line, an electronic sensor tells the computer what times each car finished, and the computer displays the winner and times for each car. All of this is displayed on a projection for all to see. Now, each car is allowed 5 oz. That's it. If the car weighs over 5 oz, it's disqualified. So, the goal is to get as much weight as you can on the cars without going over because the weight is what makes it pick up speed. So, people buy weights, bring their drills, glue, whatever and adjust their cars right before the race begins. Also, and this is a VERY big must, graphite apparently is used on the wheels to make them spin faster. For REALS. Doug knew all of this and supped up Jared's car 5 minutes before it raced. And, so did the rest of the parents. Let me just say this, at least Jared painted his own car. I'm willing to bet a whole bunch of chocolate that many of those poor tiger cubs didn't even TOUCH theirs. Yep. It's all about the parents and pinewood-derby-speed-racer-glory. Jared came in 6th out of 18 in his division.

Sidewalk paint...

Does wonders for my sanity. Sometimes it's nice to scrub toilets alone - in peace.

My world.

Prickly pear. This blooms in a few months.

These red flowers are in bloom right now. They're everywhere.

I'm guessing a javalina got this little guy.

This is a palo verde. There are nests in just about every one.

This one is a teddy bear cholla. In the spring it sprouts flowers, like most cacti around here. I'll take pics of that too.

I'd like to share with you a bit of what I see every day. Arizona in the winter is amazingly beautiful, and thanks to the trail system that winds through Anthem I take advantage of the gorgeous weather and scenery as much as possible. The Sonoran Desert receives the most rainfall of any desert in North America, which is why it's so strikingly green. I love it here, the plant life is so diverse and so is the wildlife. The birds were too quick today to get any great shots and same goes for the lizards. Plus, the kids do a pretty good job of scaring away anything within a hundred feet. It rained last night, and the scent this morning was amazing. They need to make a "desert rain" candle or something. I'd buy 1 or 50.

Birthday party!!

Jade's 4th birthday party was last Saturday. When we first moved here one of the things I was looking forward to the most was Jade's birthday. We FINALLY have a house big enough to host an actual party, so I really wanted to make this a big deal. Unfortunately, she's not in preschool like I thought she'd be, so we've had to do some recruiting of neighborhood kids. I also recently put her in dance, so after her first practice she decided to invite a girl she met there. Anyway, in three months she has made 5 little friends, and luckily they all showed up to the party. I had very ambitious plans a month ago to rent a big bouncy house and a ramada at the park on our little catch and release lake. For some reason I had this delusion that we'd have 20-something kids to entertain. I think that was just wishful thinking on my part. Plus, could you imagine how much money that would cost? I'm actually really happy with the way her party turned out. We played "pin the antennae on the butterfly"(no pics of that, because I was busy blindfolding all the children), and we did a pull-string pinata. Since when have they started making those stupid things? Isn't the point of a pinata to beat the snot out of the darn thing until candy falls out onto the heads of greedy little children? I thought so too. Maybe they figured little girls really didn't want to put Tinkerbell through that torture, so about 12 ribbons were attached to the bottom. Each child grabbed hold of a ribbon and they all pulled at the same time. No beating, just pulling. I don't have pictures of that either.

All in all, it turned out really nice, and Jade just loved her little party!

Cabbage Patch two?

I listened to Dr. Mushmouth's dictation over and OVER, and I SWEAR he's saying "status post Cabbage Patch two". Seriously, I must have listened 20 times. I sped it up, and slowed it down, and yep - Cabbage Patch two was all I could come up with. So, I finally typed it all out and submitted the report for correction, dying to know what exactly WHAT kind operation this "Cabbage Patch" thing was.

Turns out it was "status post CABG (coronary artery bypass grafting) times 2". Duh! That's literally one of the FIRST acronyms they teach us. And of course doctors don't actually say each letter alone, they put them all together to make one stupid word! They keep doing this to me. They rattle off these insane sounding things without pause, so it sounds like one jumbled mess. Sed rate (sedimentation rate) such and such, alk phos (alkaline phosphatase) such and such, eos and basos (eosinophils and basophils), and now CABBAGE. Oh, and nevermind the fact that some of them even let the phone ring right next to the recorder while they are doing dictation! For heaven's sake pick up the dang phone, or hit pause! I cannot possibly hear ANYTHING you are saying! Sometimes they even eat during dictation! As if their jumbled jargon isn't enough to deal with! Ugh. I better get the hang of this, is all I have to say. Luckily, I still have a long, long way to go. I'm still in the beginning stages of transcription, so I'm hoping this will be a breeze in a few months.

I'm good to my house.

This corner was lonely, so I bought it a plant. It was only 10 bucks. I know! Great deal right? I think it looks a little better now.

Now for some artsy wall hangings.

Fall pictures!!

Our community park across the street held an autumnfest this past weekend, and we finally decided to go. There was also a carnival, but we ran out of time for that (plus it was 90 degrees, and none of us wanted to walk around in the sun any more than we had to). So we ate some Navajo tacos, browsed the arts and crafts booths, pet (petted?) some animals, and Jade brushed some butts (see above pictures). We then picked out our pumpkins. Jared almost dropped his, but luckily Doug rescued it just before the splat. That would have been pretty messy, and gross.

My only political post.

It's a vent, really. I don't want to stir up trouble on the board, so I'm unleashing in my safe place. I'm so in shock right now after reading someone's post on the message board I've been a member of for a few years now. (of course a lot of you know that, since you are members there too.) I cannot wrap my head around people (two to be exact) ACTUALLY BELIEVING Obama is the antichrist. The ANTICHRIST? If you have differing views from his platform, fine. But to say a blanket statement like that--well for the love of Pete, pull our head out and start using your brain.That is it, and I will say no more.

*This was a vent, not a debate, and I can just see it turning into one. So, I have disabled comments for this post.

'Tis the end of the depressing blog posts.

At least for now, because Guitar Hero World Tour came out today!!! Doug drove an entire 2 miles to our Walmart to pick up the very last one in the store. This is cause for celebration. Now, I can finally live vicariously through a video game and rock out like I'm Neil Pert. (he's only the greatest drummer who's ever lived people.)

30 is NOT the new 20

The lady who waxed my eyebrows the other day told me I have a wrinkle in the middle of my forehead. How thoughtfully insightful of her.

Why I'd take swingersville anyday over this.

I just got a call from Doug's cousin today. Apparently, we got out of CA just in time. There was a shooting right in front of our apartment complex by a 16 year old KID. He was walking down the street with a gun, at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and shot and killed an 18-year-old KID. This is all just a block away from Jared's old school. A school! During school hours, no less. I found the newspaper article, and pasted it below for you all to read. Doug's cousin said our complex was completely blocked off for hours. I'm sure the school went on lockdown too. Did I tell you all that last year the school was put on lockdown 3 times within 3 months? Unbelievable.

The best part? The 16-year-old killer lives in our old complex. Soooooooo glad to be out of there.


LANCASTER - An 18-year-old who had been walking with a friend was fatally wounded after three other teens confronted the pair on a Lancaster street, deputies said.
Kwame Addison and his friend ran after a fistfight broke out, but one of the trio pulled out a gun and fired, hitting Addison several times, deputies said.
"This ain't right," said Evette Gordan, a neighbor and friend of Addison's family. "He lived in L.A. all his life, and then he moves out to Lancaster and gets shot. And it was in broad daylight, two schools are close by, and it is a busy street. Who goes around carrying a gun and starts shooting people?"
Within minutes of the shooting, Lancaster deputies detained five males who were spotted standing outside a nearby apartment complex and who ran when they saw the deputies. One is expected to be released as he was not involved in the shooting, deputies said.
The suspected gunman is a 16-year-old, deputies said. He suffered a cut to his head and was examined by medical personnel.
At the complex, deputies said they discovered bloody shorts and a shirt.
Deputies said Addison and his friend were walking along the sidewalk on Avenue K near Sixth Street East about 2 p.m. Tuesday when they were approached from behind by three teenagers, officials said.
When a fight broke out, Addison ran, but was shot at least three times, deputies said. He ran across an adjoining field, then collapsed on Sixth Street East, close to his house, sheriff's officials said.
Addison was found by neighbors, who heard the shots and tried to help him before calling his mother, Latonya Jones.
"I was inside the house when I heard the shots," said a neighbor, who asked not to be identified. "He was just laying there, full of blood. It looked pretty bad."
Gordan said Addison's mother came to her home to tell her what happened.
"She was banging on the door and yelling, 'My baby has been shot!' " Gordan said.
Addison, in very critical condition, was flown to Providence Holy Cross Medical Center in Mission Hills, where he was pronounced dead, officials said.
After the shooting, more than 20 deputies searched the field looking for blood and other evidence, authorities said. The field as well as Sixth Street East were blocked with patrol cars and crime-scene tape. The apartment house in the 43500 block of Kirkland Avenue was also surrounded with crime-scene tape.
Deputies were waiting for a warrant to search the apartment in which the 16-year-old lived.
Gordan said she was shocked by the shooting.
"He was a good kid," Gordan said of Addison. "You know, he got side-tracked for a little bit, but he was back on. … It is unbelievable. Shot around the corner from his home. Are you serious

Feeling down today.

It's no secret to many that my marriage isn't the greatest. I won't go into detail, but I am fairly good at sucking it up and just dealing with it. I do have my bad days though, and today is one of them. Nothing unusual was done or said; just feeling a little lonely and sorry for myself today, which is weird because no matter how bad it gets I can get over myself and move on with my day. Shoot, I can't even write well. I'm going to continue though, because this blog is therapy for me. I post every once and a while about my personal struggles, but not nearly as much as I admittedly have them. I'm so glad I've made friends here in AZ, and I promised myself I WOULD NOT be known as that girl with the bad marriage who needs a weekly therapy session at Starbucks to release her never-ending marital drama, looking for a tissue and a pat on the back. NOPE. They do not need to know, and they don't need their lives filled with my drama. Neither do you all. But some days.....some days I simply feel I cannot handle it alone. That's why, my friends, I am letting it out for you all to read. My marriage sucks. Plain and simple. It has been pretty bad for years and years. Some days I try my hardest to pretend it's fine, but usually the truth lurks deep down inside. I have a good way of lying to myself in order to keep from completely falling apart, especially for my kids' sake. I'm pretty sure he does not love me anymore and not to sound completely pitiful, but most days I doubt he cares about me at all. To answer your question, right now there is nothing I can do about this. Maybe one day I can, but now is not the time. So for now, I trudge along in the trenches and try to emotionally survive. Most days I can survive, in fact I have actually learned to thrive. But today, I'm simply trying to breathe.

Why Jade doesn't eat her dinner.

"Jade, you need to sit down, right now, and eat your green beans."

"But I can't because I'm practicing my magic spells. Watch...."poke the head of google and goggle". See, I told you I need practice."


I seriously have NO IDEA.

A day at the park

I had to make a post about this because it's the first day since we've been here the temp is below the 90s. It's SO NICE. I actually wore pants today. Not because it was cold, but because I didn't HAVE to wear shorts to not sweat to death. Plus, it's techincally fall, and you better believe I'll wear my jeans in 80 degree weather if I want to!

This just ruined my night.

Jared made a best friend. He lives a couple of streets over, they ride the same bus, and they are in the same class at school. This kid's name is Alex. For the past two weeks, the boys have been inseparable. Alex either comes here, or Jared goes over there. This week, however, I noticed the visits and playdates have stopped. I really didn't think anything of it until last night when Jared brought up something that made me feel like I was punched in the stomach. Alex has apparently been pushing Jared out of their little circle of friends at school. Alex will literally hold out his arm and physically try and stop Jared from playing with them at recess. Jared will invite him over to the house, and Alex will say things like "I don't want to go to your house. It's dumb." Hello! We have the Wii, and those boys have a BLAST playing it in my living room. You know how I know? Because they scream so dang loud I can't hear my dictation, and I yell at them to keep it down. What does he mean our house is dumb? I served him fruit snacks and a Capri Sun for crying out loud!! Jared even let him play with his new Bionacle. Ugh. I am so upset about this. I'm almost more upset that Jared lets Alex tell him who he can and who he can't play with. Jared is so NOT a passive person, and I want him to assert himself, but he won't with Alex. When Alex "prevents" him from playing with the group at recess, Jared walks away and sits by himself. When Alex tells Jared he can't sit next to him at lunch, Jared leaves and sits by himself. That is just SO SAD. Jared was telling me this last night, and I literally had to drag it out of him. When he admitted everything that was going on, I could see tears welling up behind his eyes. I asked him if Alex's behavior was hurting his feelings, and told him he could tell me if it did. He turned away, wiped his eyes and said "no mom. I don't care." That killed me. I just wanted to scoop him up and hold him and tell him I was so sorry his best friend was being so mean. I wanted to cry with him, and I wanted to fix it. Instead, I told him it was important to not let Alex treat him that way. I told him to stick up for himself, and play with whomever he wants to play with . I told him Alex is NOT his boss, and cannot prevent him from playing with other kids in the group. I'm so sad for him. I have to have faith that things will work out, and that Alex is just going through some bratty phase. Maybe if Jared doesn't tolerate this kind of behavior, Alex won't do it anymore. Or, at least that's what I'm hoping. Growing up is so hard. I thought this stuff only happened to girls.

No more trainng wheels!!

Jared has a few scrapes and bruises to show for this new milestone, but overall he took to it fairly easily. I think he's pretty pleased with himself, and he should be! His friend down the street rides a two-wheeler so I think that sparked his interest. After a while, as I was putting the bikes and scooter away, I heard everyone head inside from the garage, so I followed once I was finished, and closed the garage door. A couple minutes later I hear the doorbell, and I open the door to find Jade standing with her hand on her hip looking perplexed. "Mom, I can't believe you forgot me!" Well shoot. I guess it's a good thing I only have two.

Hmm...

Jared swears there's a ghost in the house. Like, he will NOT let it go. He says it's a nice ghost and won't hurt us. He also says he can't really see it, but he can feel it. Okay, now, most of you all know I'm sort-of superstitious and actually DO believe in ghosts. I can't help it--I just do. Having said that, I seriously doubt out house is haunted. If it were, I think I would have noticed it. Right? Wouldn't you have noticed if your house had a ghost? I have not felt anything "off", and I find this house to be very peaceful. Still...I can't help but remember all the orb-y things that came out in our pictures the first couple weeks we lived here. I'm sure it's just dust. In fact, I've told myself that over and over again. I just find it slightly strange that Jared came up with this "ghost" thing all of a sudden. I posted some "orby" picture for you all to view. Dust, right? (The house isn't nearly as dingy as it looks....especially now, since I scrubbed the snot out of the grout) The last pic is the night we moved in. Our nephew Holden is the middle. Notice the orb on the wall above them. Dust. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.