The Graduate

Jared has "graduated" from preschool today!!! Don't you think that's the cutest thing ever? Who's ever heard of a preschool graduation? They even had Oreos and everything. His teacher put on a little presentation of all they've learned over the year. The kids sang about a bazillion songs for us parents. Well, SOME of them sang. Some of them just picked their nose. They sang about the days of the week, the months of the year, and something about quaking ducks. (Jared's favorite, since he totally got to wear a construction papered-stapled-together duck hat. Dude, it was COOL, I'm telling you!) After the songs, the graduates snuck away and walked proudly out single-file donning their cardboard grad caps. Okay, let me just tell you, that was the CUTEST thing EVER!! I'm a little embarrassed to say I got a little misty eyed watching my tall 5 year old baby searching my eyes for approval as he walked out to stand in front of us. I was so proud of him in that moment. I smiled to him and I hope I conveyed in that smile how much I love him, and how proud I was of him. Not just for knowing his abc's or how to count, but for how he is becoming a truly strong, independent, loving, brave little person. He really is the bravest 5-year-old I know. He is so much like his father. Cautious, shy, protective, un-afraid, independent, self-assured. He is going to grow into a wonderful man and father. What more could a mother ask for?

Imaginary friend?

Every morning Jade gets her "mommy fix" by comming into my bed after she wakes up to snuggle my hair. Not me. Just my hair. This is an everyday thing. This morning though, as she's inhaling my greasy two-day old unwashed hair, she tells me of her new "friend" Sarah. Aparently, she met Sarah last night in her room, and they were playing together. She even let Sarah sit in her princess chair. (that's a big deal) I asked what Sarah looked like, but she couldn't give me a description. She just said that she's a big girl with a "really bad headache on her cheek". Mmhmmmm. Weird. Jade wants to play with her today too, or..rather, tonight....because that's when Sarah comes to play. I'm guessing she's been dreaming this, hence the "playing at night thing". Jade also said Sarah is sick, but nice, and keeps telling me now she's her new best friend. Okay, here comes the weird, and maybe a little freaky part. I ask her one more time to try to give me a little more of a detailed description of what she looks like. I say "so can you try really hard to remember what Sarah looks like?" Jade points BEHIND me, giggles, and puts her finger over her lips and says "ssshhhhhhh", and laughs hysterically at the wall. I ask "what's so funny?", and again, she laughs, looks BEHIND me at the wall, points to...nothing, and says "sssshhhhh".

Yeeeeaaaahhhhh. I look behind my shoulder, see nothing there, and pick her up, and leave the room. Creepy much??? Oh, and 10 minutes later, Jade's Barney computer which is across the room, and UNTOUCHED decides to start singing. I just looked at it and thought, "That's great. Just great".

A picture, and a funny story

Sooo, guess who was walking around Hollywood Blvd friday night with the bottom of her skirt TUCKED INTO HER UNDERWARE???? Yep. Me.

My best friend Christa is in town this week visiting from very far away West Virginia, and her mom bought us (Christa, her sister, me and herself) tickets to go see "Wicked, the Musical", because she's very cool, she has a great ass, and I'm aparently her third daughter. We decided to all meet at the Pantages Theater, which is literally right in the heart of old town Hollywood. I got there an hour or so before they did, as they were stuck in LA traffic. So, of course I go next door to the bar and do what I do best....order a drink. I'm sitting there sipping my rum and coke, looking at myself in the mirrored backsplash of the bar between two old salty smelly guys watching the ball game. Okay, so it's not entirely my scene, but it's a way to kill some time, and relax for a bit. So, I'm drinking away, admiring my curled hair and well-applied make-up in the mirror, thinking of course that I'm the hottest thing in the bar, and how proud I am that I can clean up this nicely. Right? Right.

My drink is gone, I take a trip to the restroom, leave a tip, and walk out of the bar, and onto Hollywood Blvd, and stand right in front of the Theater. So, I'm standing there, nicely buzzed, getting excited about the show, watching busloads of people arrive right behind me at the loading/unloading painted curb. I'm standing there, watching dozens of people walk next to me, around me, and behind me, and then a lady walks up to me. She leans in really close and whispers in my ear "the bottom of your skirt is tucked into your underware."

I wanted to die. Right there. I wanted to DIE. I look directly behind me, and some old man is sitting in a cafe-type chair grinning at me. Great. I'm sure my face turned 25 shades of red at that point. I pulled my skirt out as quick as I could, and then tried to walk away, but I couldn't move. I was literally frozen. I think I stood there for a good 15 minutes before I got the courage to walk away. FAR AWAY. I think my only saving grace was the rum and coke I had a few minutes earlier. That really helped numb the embarrassment, even though I was still mortified. But, it helped a little.

The play however, was great. The music was fantastic, and Eden Espinosa played Elphaba, and did such a great job. Her passion gave me goosebumps. I think she might have the most amazing voice I've ever heard. I'd love to go see it again. Maybe one day. Oh, and Christa's coming to stay with us for two days this week!!! I can't wait!

Teeth

It's happened. My almost 5 year old has lost his first tooth. Two days before it fell out I noticed it looked a little funny, so I wiggled it, and saw that it was loose. I thought I had weeks before that thing came out. When I was a kid it seemed like my loose teeth took FOREVER to fall out. Not for my kid. Like I said, two days after I noticed it was loose, Jared gets down from the table where he was eating his muffin, washes his hands, plops himself on the kitchen floor to talk to me while I do the dishes, and as he's talking to me, I notice a hole in his bottom row of teeth. So on closer inspection I notice that, yes, his tooth has indeed come out. The question is when and how! So, of course I ask him, since he hasn't volunteered that information. He very casually tells me that as he bit into his muffin, it came out, and he put it on the table. WHAT?? Why is this not a big deal to him?? Doesn't he know about the tooth fairy? I mean, seriously...THE TOOTH FAIRY!! What kid wouldn't get excited about that? Well, apparently mine. (By the way the going rate for a tooth nowadays is a whole stinking dollar!)

So, I go look on the table, and there it is on the place mat, just lying there, no big deal...just his first missing tooth EVER!! I tried to get him all excited about it, but he just rolled his eyes and gave me that look I used to give my parents when I wanted them to shut the hell up. So, I did, and he ran off to put on his ninja costume to stalk his sister. *Sigh* boys.

BLEH! PUKE! BARF! GAG!

I just experienced one of the most uncomfortable feelings in my life. I just finished reading a SEX SCENE from the novel my grandfather wrote! EEEEEEWWWWWWWW! And, let me tell you, it was explicit people!! I had to read things like "...revealing his own well muscled body and the erect phallus of his masculinity." And then, and THEN, as if that wasn't bad enough, he goes on to describe how in detail, they reach orgasm. ORGASM! And there was moaning. He used words like "delicate pulsations", and "eruptive explosion", "thrusting", and.. well...just...EWWWW! I mean, it's pornographic! Grandpa why? Why did you have to do that to me? I mean SERIOUSLY. Wasn't there a better way to write a love scene? Like, oh, I don't know...SKIPPING IT ALL TOGETHER? Okay, I hope and pray to GOD that was the last time I'll ever have to read words like that from my dear, sweet grandpa's novel. I have never even heard this man utter a bad word in his life, and he is the sweetest, gentlest person I have ever met. I would much rather pretend my mother came from immaculate conception, rather then his "stirring loins." (not that the book was about him, but just the fact that he wrote those words was just WRONG) Grandfathers don't have loins. They just don't. They have big comfy chairs, and magic tricks, and lots and lots of great Wisconsin cheese.

Now, excuse me while I go throw up.