Nurse Shirley and all the drama

Today I had to go in for my postpartum 6-week check, even though Jade is like 11 weeks old now. My original appointment was about 2 weeks ago, but it was actually snowing that day and I didn't want to drive in the slush. For those of you who are reading this that don't know, I live in the desert in SoCal so I wasn't really accustomed to driving in the snow, let alone rain for crying out loud. So I resecheduled my appt. for today. Now, I go to this ghetto ass clinic because when I got pregnant Doug was unemployed and we had to get Medical. (bad freakin timing to get knocked up huh?) Anyway, I get there and I'm sitting in the waiting room when nurse Shirley, begins ranting and raving about how "racist this clinic is, and I'm gonna sue all yo' sorry white asses" What the frick? Are you kidding me? There are about 15 or so of us out in the waiting room listening to her ramble on and on about this nonsense. (apparently she's not very bright because the door was wide open and anyone within 1 mile of her could hear the conversation, or maybe she did it on purpose) We all just looked around at each other and had that look of "she is ghe-tto". The thing with nurse Shirley is, she is a raging bitch, no one likes to work with her, no one likes to be her patient, hell, when she walks by, it's like a cold wind passing and I shudder. No lie. I'm probably not the only one either. Nurse Elaine says they've been trying to get rid of her for a while but she keeps threating to sue for racist crap. Whatever. I hate when people play the racist card. No, ya biznatch no one is racist, you just SUCK!! Get over it already, ya know?
So finally I get in to see the Doctor. Apparently, I can't get on birth control pills, because I have had sex using a condom. Yup, I waited 6 weeks after Jade was born to do the deed, and we used a condom. Welllll, a condom is only about 90 percent effective. So there may be a chance I could be pregnant again, thus I can't start pills until I start my period. Okay, well I'm BREASTFEEDING. I probably won't start my period until she's like, 9 or 10 months old. Hell no doctor, give me the dang pills already. So I talked him into giving me a pregnancy test to prove that I am NOT pregnant. Well, I have to go back again in 2 weeks to retake it, just to make sure it's negative. Yes folks, it was negative. So in two weeks, after I PROVE that I am not pregnant, then I can get on the pill. Sheesh! I had no idea it was such a huge deal to use condoms. You should have heard him! "Oh, you used condoms and that's it? Well they are only 90 percent effective." "Oh really Doctor? I am such a freaking idiot! What the hell was I thinking?"