mothers, be good to your daughters

I met a young girl at the DMV yesterday. She opened the door for me when she saw I had a stroller. I thanked her politely and walked over to the back of the mile long line. She stood behind me and immediately began cooing at Jade. She commented on how beautiful and happy she is. Jade loved her too. She smiled and babbled and laughed at the girl's funny faces.

The girl was a bit homely looking, not the type of girl people probably would have made friends with in High School. Her hair was cut short, like a boy's. Her teeth were stained yellow with plaque, and her clothes were soiled. I was trying my best not to judge. She seemed nice enough, just very talkative. She asked if Jade was my first baby. I told her no, that I have a three-year-old boy at home. She then told me about her 2-year-old twin boys. They are a handful. She also said she's pregnant again, and thinks she's due in September, but she hadn't been to a doctor yet to figure out the due date.

We made small talk in that long line, mostly she was the one asking questions. How old am I? When is my birthday? When did I get married? Why do I have a ruby wedding ring instead of a diamond? I didn't really feel like answering all these questions to someone who was a bit "weird", but didn't want to be rude, so I did anyway.

She then told me about her 8-year-old daughter. This young lady had her daughter when she was 12. Twelve years old. She's 20 now and expecting her fourth child. How does this happen? How does a twelve year old child get pregnant? I was still playing with barbies at 12. I wasn't even thinking about kissing boys when I was 12. What happened to her? Where were her parents? I couldn't even think of a response when she told me. I think I just stared at her in disbelief. How can you possibly be mature enough to raise a child at 12? Her innocence was gone, or taken as a child, and I felt so sorry for her, and her daughter. What kind of childhood did this young woman have? How can you enjoy your baby, and care for her, and understand her needs when you are a child yourself? How can you get up in the middle of the night every night for months to feed your baby when you feel like a zombie at 12? Why didn't someone teach this young girl how to be a child? Didn't her mother and father give her the attention she deserved? What's wrong with the world that twelve year old children are getting pregnant? I am so afraid for my son. I'm afraid that I won't do a good enough job, and screw his life up. This is the hardest job in the world, and it never, ever ends. I cringe to think how the world will be when Jared is in jr. high and high school. I thought I had it bad. And now, I've got a long, hard road ahead of me. *sigh*