so long! Farewell!

to my dearest, closest companion through years of rough nights and long never-ending days. You eased my pain when I fell to the depths of despair, and helped me cope with seemingly helpless situations. You were there for me every night, like a faithful friend to help me drown in my sorrows.

But, I'm onto better things. I realize I can live without you. I HAVE to live without you. I'm healing, and my future is bright. My soul is slowly filling with good things, with good thoughts and actions, with the word of God. I can make it without you.

ods and ends

Jared hit his first homerun EVER yesterday! I was jumping up and down and screaming at the top of my lungs like a wild woman. All the moms totally understood my eratic behavior. Plus, I played guitar hero with my sister-in-law and nephew later in the day, and she gave me an entire chocolaty-ooey-gooey deliciously fattening fudge cake. She's evil, but chocolate makes me happy. Chocolate and homeruns! Weeeeee!

*I did edit this post. If it reads slightly different than it did yesterday, it's because I like this version better*

6 going on 16

Every morning I wake up and deal with this:

me: Jared, it's time to get dressed. Do you have something picked out this morning?

him: nooooooo, I don't want to get dressed.

me: okay, play for 10 minutes. I'll set the timer, and then you need to get dressed, okay?

him: fine.

*10 minutes later*

me: okay buddy the timer beeped. You need to get dressed now.

him: uuuugggghhhhhh. o-KAY!

*five minutes later*

me: Jared why are you wearing dirty clothes? I know those came from the hamper, and you already wore that TWICE this week. See the grass stains?

him: noooooo, just let me pleeeeeeeeeease!!! You NEVER let me wear what I want to wear.

me: no. absolutely not. We are not having this discussion again. Pick something CLEAN out of your closet.

*two minutes later*

me: Um, Jared, why are you wearing THOSE pants? I put those in the giveaway bag for a reason. They are up to your ankles, and they are waaaaaay to tight around your crotch.

him: but mom! No. Just let me wear these. I'm so SICK of this!!!!! I DON'T want to wear my jeans in my drawer. What's wrong with these pants? They fit fine.

me: no they don't. They are way too tight, and they are going up your butt in the back.

*stomp stomp thump stomp huff*

him: MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM, I HATE it when you do this, you NEVER let me wear what I want to wear. You're not being fair. It's always your FAULT!

*two minutes later*

him: there mom. I'm wearing this. Now STOP being mean to me.

me: so you're going to wear sweatpants to school? *sigh* fine.


I realize all of this could be avoided if I just had him pick out his clothes the night before. I don't know why I put myself through this.

funky/conservative

I ordered these glasses yesterday. The thing is, they are TOTALLY out there for me. I wanted something a little more "fun" than the regular wire frames I've been wearing all my life. But now I'm afraid I may have overdone it. They looked cute on me in the store, but now seeing the picture, I'm freaking out just a little. I mean, they're SQUARE, and BLACK. I'm not sure if they'll be quite "me". Doug says they look stupid, but he says that about most things I like anyway. So what do you all think? Will it be okay? Can I pull off this new look? Am I freaking out over nothing? I figure it this way: IF the glasses look TOTALLY bizzare on me, I'll just get a funky new hairdo to match the glasses!

preschool field trip.

Jade's preschool teacher's friend owns an acre out in the Palmdale hills. Her backyard is fantastic, complete with a beautifully landscaped patio, and a HORSE in the back! So the kids took turns riding Thunder. I took Jared too, since he has afternoon K, and we went riding in the morning. They also had a couple of very loud cocks.

As in roosters.

Pet Peeve of the Day

You know what bugs me? People who send me e-mails or in this case, bulletins on my myspace telling me I'm a bad Christian if I don't forward whatever stupid "angels on my shoulder" story some teenaged kid made up to circulate the internet. I don't mind reading touching stories with a good message to go along with it. I just can't stand the ones that say something like "forward this if you are a true follower of Christ. If you deny Him, you'll be dammed forever". It really bugs me that my "friends" are sending me junk like this. I mean, are you kidding me? This is what I call "scare-tactics christianity". I mean, come ON people, use your freaking BRAINS. Do you really think Christ cares if you forward a stupid e-mail or not? Oh, and here's the clincher. This girl who sent it to me.....her tagline is "When I think about you I touch myself". You know the kind of myspace pics some girls take of themselves kissing the air with their big ol' boobies hanging out? Yeah, she's that girl. But it's okay right? She forwarded the e-mail, so she's saved.

This Kid Rocks

Not just metaphorically. I mean he totally ROCKS! Okay so maybe I'm not the best mom for letting him play video games, but hey....it's improving his hand-eye coordination right? Right? Just agree with me.

THEY WON!! THEY WON, THEY WON, THEY WON!!!!!

Jared's t-ball has never, I repeat NEVER won a game. They've played 8 games so far, and yesterday we beat the pants off of the Dodgers! WOOT!!! It's about dang time, let me tell ya. We're seriously the Bad News Bears of the t-ball league. But, maybe our loosing streak is over. Ooooh, I HOPE it's over. Now all we need to do is get Jared to actually RUN those bases instead of taking a leisurely jog. But, it's allllll good. Because we WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Change

Something is making sense now. It's just clicking like it never has before. The restoration, the atonement, the Plan of Salvation makes sense. I can feel it in my soul. I do not understand everything about the gospel, and I have many questions still to ask. But, I DO know, that as President Monson bore his testimony in Conference yesterday, I felt as though he were speaking directly to me, through divine inspiration as he looked through my tv screen into my unseen eyes as he said "Come back." Those words touched me, and I felt his love and concern for my well-being. I cannot even adequately express to you how fully I sustain him as a prophet and head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Now comes the hard part--ACTING on those feelings, and actually DOING what I now feel to be right. How do I stop drinking my coffee every morning? How do I give up my favorite wine at night? How will I find the strength to stand for what I believe in? That will be the challenge for sure. Hopefully I have it in me to make correct choices and be an example to my children and to my husband. Maybe the strength won't come from me though. Maybe it'll come from the Lord. I pray I find that strength so I can become the person I know I should have been.