big girls don't cry.

Today was a great day. The kids and I went to church, and they were actually pretty good during sacrament. No one farted, which ALWAYS happens at least once. They even got along, and except the few times Jade crawled under the pew to touch everyone's toes, they remained in their seats as I told them to.

So, fast forward to Relief Society (the women's class). The lesson was on mothers, and the importance of raising children, and how wonderful a calling it is....blah blah blah. (It was actually a very good lesson, and I'm only typing in the blahs because I don't want to explain the entire thing. Kay?) Then comes the closing song, "Love at Home". No big deal, right? WRONG. The opening line is "There is beauty all around, when there's love at home". The floodgates were not only opened, they were karate chopped down. I was sitting in the front row, and blubbering like a baby. OUT OF NOWHERE. Something must have really struck a chord with me, because I could not stop. I could not, for the life of me regain composure. I mean....I was hiccuping, sniffling up snot, borderline hyperventilating, and shaking. I was literally SOBBING. I was sooooo close to walking out, but on the rare chance that the backrow couldn't hear me above the piano and screeching vibratos, I decided to stay and take it like a man, because walking out hysterical would probably have drawn slightly more attention than sitting there hysterical. Right? Well that's what I thought too. So, I stayed, and tried threatening myself into behaving, and stopping this ridiculous tangent right this minute, "or ELSE!!".
Luckily I only had to sit through one verse of that torture, as the meeting was running a little over. Needless to say, I am so, so, soooooo embarrassed. My sister-in-law, bless her heart was sitting right next to me, and didn't say a thing. I'm an ugly crier, so I just tried looking straight ahead, hoping and praying no one would try to put their arm around me, or ask if I was okay. Thankfully, no one cared. Or, at least maybe I was just so hysterical they didn't want to associate with the "crazy woman". The RS president did give me a hug after the meeting was over and told me she was glad to see me. Well, that was nice. But, I don't think I can ever show my face there again. I'm. so. embarrassed.