Yes, I cut my hair. It was to my mid to lower back, full of frayed and split ends and it was time to chop that crap off. And, I like it muuuuch better.
Anyway, as I was saying, I got the scoop on our little "Stepford community"--which is what I call it because it looks picture perfect on the outside with its tidy yards, and immaculate parks. Even the wives here have skinny little work-out bodies and perky, bouncy boobies to match. But ohhh yes, a dirty little secret lies within. Amanda, my new hairdresser dished all the juicy gossip while she was chopping my golden locks. Apparently, there's an interesting little upper-class-type sushi, martini bar here in town called "Off the Hook" (cool name right?). Well, at this swankified hot spot there's much more going on then sipping martinis. There's wife swapping. WIFE SWAPPING. I'm serious--and disgusted. There's some big fish bowl at the end of the bar where you dump your keys in. Whoever picks up your keys gets your wife for the night, and you get his. I guess it's some big underground thing here. Like, PTA moms, lawyers, teachers, and even cops have this secret double life they lead when the sun goes down. No one really admits to it....but it does happen. A lot. Supposedly it was even on Oprah. She had a few couples from Anthem talk about their swinging lifestyles, and they even pointed out that it was one of the biggest swingers communities in the country. Yikes! I've also been told to watch for the painted white rocks in the front yard. I guess that's their "part of the club" sign. So far I haven't seen any--and yes I have been looking. Oh, you know you would too! So, anyway I did learn a lot about this new town of ours, mostly things I didn't want to know. But, hey...honestly it's a really great place for kids, the people are nice, the area is clean, the crime rate is low, and what do I care what people do behind closed doors? Yes, it's gross, and creepy, but it's kind of considered a thing on the "down low", so as long as it stays that way I'm perfectly happy here--just won't be going to any sushi bars.
7 comments:
A friend of mine just sent me a link to your blog because we are planning on moving to Anthem from Flagstaff in the Spring. Very, Very interesting I think I will really like it there. I love that you posted that story on your blog..secrets out!
Paige, I think you will like it here too. It's a great place for kids! Coming from Flag though, it'll probably take you a while to get used to the heat. Other then that, so far it's a really great place to live.
I love heat. The weather here is soo bad. We did not have a summer. I think the only season I will miss is Fall. Also, I grew up in Louisiana so I am used to heat!
That is SCAN. DA. LOUS. Dude, do people actually do that, for really reals? Whatever you do, hide your keys, bokay!
Oh don't worry, I won't be setting foot in that bar!
Paige, you'll love it here then. It's still in the high 90s during the day. But, you know what? I've been here a month, and it's reeeeeaaallly not that bad. It's pretty bareable. As long as you've got air conditioning, (which everyone does)it's tolerable. I do wish it cooled off at night a little more.
O.K. that is G R O S S, but hilarious at the same time. EEek! Let us know if any of your friends have white rocks and then hide your keys from their husbands!
Oh and btw, your hair looks cute!
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