Being a stay-at-home-mom has it's advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, I can pretty much sleep in in the mornings, stay in my pajamas all day long if I want to, and be with the two people I care about most in this world. On the other hand, I haven't used my brain in about 3 years. I miss challenging myself intellectually. (not that I was ever really an intellect anyway) I miss really having think about things. You know, analyzing and comparing things, getting lost in your own thoughts. All day long I do nothing but nurse Jade, play blocks with Jared, clean up the house, read to Jared, change Jade's diaper.. etc, all that domestically "woman" stuff. That's all I do.... everyday. The last time I ever remember actually thinking in depth about anything was when I read "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy, after which I read "The Silmarillion". These books made me use my brain, my imagination, gave me something to think and ponder about. I have read the trilogy three times now just because of that reason. I felt so much more alive, and "adult" if you will. Seriously folks, how challenging is it to have a conversation with a three year old all day? I have such a desire to stimulate my mind. I feel I am better then this redundancy. Redundancy- is that even a word? I have no college education and I was pretty much just your average student in high school. Except I had NO ambition. I don't know why that is. I didn't have a desire to better myself and learn new things. Then again, I was taking piano lessons, I was a drummer in the marching band, and I was very active in my church youth organization. Now I don't have those things. I have my wonderful children whom I love dearly. Being a mother is a great accomplishment in itself, I completely understand that. That's not enough. I want to explore new things, learn a new hobby, challenge myself, accomplish something to be proud of . I don't necessarily want a career of sorts, I'd much rather stay at home with my kids. But I need something else. Maybe it's time to go back to school, just for the sake of learning, just for the sake of a challenge.
Friday, March 04, 2005
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3 comments:
when I was at home with Oee, I felt very isolated and insignificant and bored. It can be a problem, but I am sure your children are benefiting from it. We should start book trading. You want a new book to read? Just email me your address. :)
Ditto what April said. Get involved in some adult ed classes, either hobby classes or something of that nature. Join a playgroup, or a book club. Or, hell, get some mommies together and start your own!
You know what I did? I went to the bookstore (this was years ago) and went to the "classics" section. I picked up three books, and read them just for the hell of it. It made me feel better knowing that I had read them, and they were challenging and stimulating.
Girl, get your ass out here and I will make you go to classes with me. C'mon, let's do it!
P.S. You're not stupid. The next time you say that I will wreck you with a cannon. Oh, yeah, I sent you a present. Check yo mailbox... should be there tomorrow or monday, tues. at the latest. Because I'm the bestest person in whole wide world (sorry, April, but I RULE.)
Well at least i'm not the only one who feels that way. I'm definatly going to look into some type of "mommy and me" class. Thanks guys!
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