I'm allowed to poke fun.

There's a Mormon
By Jeff Foxworthy

This is to all of you that may be a Mormon, that may know a
Mormon, that may live in Utah, that may have lived in Utah, or have
heard about Mormons.

If all your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape...>
You might be a Mormon.

If you postdate your checks while shopping on Sunday... You
might be a Mormon.

If you believe Heck is the place for people who do not believe
in gosh... You might be a Mormon.

If your Mom was pregnant at your sister's wedding reception...
You might be a Mormon.

If you pray that your food might "nourish and strengthen your
body" before eating doughnuts...
You might be a Mormon.

If you think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups...
You might be a Mormon

If at least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house...
You might be a Mormon.

If you've ever written a "Dear-John" to more than two
missionaries on the same day....
You might be a Mormon.

If you were frustrated when your son "only" got accepted
to Harvard...
You might be a Mormon.

If you have one kid in diapers and one on a mission...
You might be a Mormon.

If you have never arrived at a meeting on time...
You might be a Mormon.

If you have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world
countries... you might be a Mormon.

If you've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The
Work and The Glory...
You might be a Mormon.

If you think it is all right to watch football on Sundays
as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing...
You might be a Mormon.

If you have to guess more than five times the name of the
child you're disciplining...
You might be Mormon.

If you automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own
Burgers...
You might be Mormon.

If you go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi...
You might be a Mormon.

If you arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person
there...
You might be a Mormon.