Warning: this is a birth story

What to write about? Hmmm. I feel the need to blog, but I don't have much to say. I hate when that happens. My life isn't all that exciting, you know. Yes, a housewife has many jobs and responsibilities, but most of her day is dull and drab, with the occasional funny "something" her kids might say out of the blue. Jared says funny things all the time, but I don't ever remember them when it's time to blog. Hmmm, wanna know my birth story with Jade? C'mon, you KNOW you do!

So there I was, hugely pregnant at 4 days overdue. At my last checkup I was not dilated, not effaced, or anything. Just shut, and tight. (my cervix that is. I told you men, you don't wanna read this!) She was due on the 10th. So on the 14th, which is April's b-day, I woke up and noticed my mucus plug had come out, and thought nothing of it. Well, actually I thought I might go into labor the next day. A couple hours later, as I was cooking breakfast, I noticed some contractions that were becoming a bit painful. No biggie I thought. After all, I was in labor for days with Jared. As I was doing the dishes, I noticed they were becoming a bit stronger, to the point I'd have to stop what I was doing and breathe deep to get through them. I watched the clock and noticed they were still irregular and about 15-17 minutes apart. I don't know why I was dumb enough to get on my hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor, but I did. As I was scrubbing like a freaking madwoman, they became painful enough that I realized I needed to stop what I was doing, and sit my ass down before I fell over from the pain. They were still 15 minutes apart at this point, and I didn't want to go into the hospital too early, only to tell me to go home. This happened several times with my Jared.

I decided a nice warm shower was in order. It would help me relax, and maybe I would have this baby early tomorrow. (or so I thought) In the shower my contractions were comming about every 8 minutes or so, and I was in so much pain, I was climbing the walls. (okay, not REALLY, but you get the picture) I was moaning, and groaning, and cursing, and digging my nails into Doug's poor arm, and he didn't mind one bit.

After getting out of the shower, I decided we should probably make arrangements for Jared to spend the night at my in-laws, and get my laboring ass to the hospital. (the contractions, to my surprise 3 minutes apart and getting stronger by the minute)

So, we scrambled to get our things together, and at this point I'm in so much pain I'm making some pretty loud noises. Finally we all piled in the car, and raced over to Doug's parents house. I stayed in the car, and Doug quickly dropped him off. The hospital is only a few miles away, and thank god for that because at this point I'm yelling obscenities, and clawing the interior in the car.

When we arrive, they immediately put me in triage and told me to pee in a cup. I couldn't do it, and I didn't care. I was yelling and cursing, and pacing, and moaning, and this is WAY more intense then my first labor. "well no wonder you're hollering so much, you are almost dilated to an 8". What?? "Roll her into delivery, and get a bed ready now".

So in the delivery room I'm having one contraction after another, and each one feels like my bowels are being tied in knots, and my asshole is going to rip open any second. (it feels like you have to poop, only it's the biggest dump you can imagine)
I was screaming at this point because I had to push. The nurse told me I wasn't ready, and the doc was delivering another baby. I think I SCREAMED I have to effing push NOW!!!!

So in about 5 minutes a doctor comes in, throws some gloves on, and sits down right in front of my vagina. The baby is crowing at this point, and as I'm pushing, I feel this burning sensation like my vagina is being ripped apart. "What the eff is that?" I scream. "That's the baby's head". Holy freaking cow. The pain. Ohhh, the pain, people. All I could do was scream. That's it. Just scream. Scream for the love of god to get me through this, and get this damn kid out.

Once the head came out, I had to get the shoulders through. That was a bit quicker. I looked down, and saw the full head of hair and a squished face that was my daughter. At the doctor's prompting, I reached down under her arms and pulled my beautiful Jadie out and held her on my stomach. That was such a beautiful moment. I fell in love with her right there and then. She was so warm, and perfect, and all the screaming and pushing, and complete hell that I had just gone through was all worth it. I would do it all again, just for that one moment, where no one was in that room but us. She was mine, forever. Thank you god, for that.